The Gift of a Pandemic
One of the greatest things my father gave me was my work ethic. Well, I say "gave" but it was more of an observation. An embedded belief that if you want to support your family, the way to do it is to work yourself to death.
While March does mark the anniversary of his passing, with the timeline of the pandemic and the transitions it has brought upon many, it also seemed like a good time for my annual attention to my blog posts. A good time for me to be thankful for a wonderful thing that this year has given me. While I know that the past year has shed a light for some, and been a heavy burden for others, I am grateful for it's lessons.
I remember complaining about not seeing him much as a child, before the teenage draw toward friends and independence found my interests. Before I began seeking and acquiring my own first place of employment. The time when my mother did all she could to cultivate that relationship, even though I complained about the drives and weekends that were a blur. We would go wherever his work was in hopes of capturing some memories together. My memories are a romanticized version of who he was, but I hold on to them with both hands. His laugh was infectious. I can hear it still today.
Fast forward to 2020. It didn't take much effort at all to transition to a homeschool routine for this school year. The handful of months of online education were not enjoyed by anyone in our home at the conclusion of last year. I had always wanted to homeschool, but was intimidated by the process and the self-doubt. Every parent wants to make the right choices. Could I be everything that two very different kids could need?
Then the gift...or shall I say gifts.
We had no idea how much we would learn together.
With the closing of life as we knew it, a whole host of opportunity was ahead. While I had my eye on another outcome initially, the universe had other lessons to teach me. I cut my work hours dramatically. Through social media groups and trusted friends I found a generous helping of homeschool resources. The kids were eager. I was excited. We had no idea how much we would learn together. But, the gift wrapped with the biggest bow, the one we saved for last, was all the time. Time to sit with each other. Time to talk. Time to explore new ideas and worlds. Time to play. To be with each other and really know who we were as a family...who I am as a mother. You don't always get that time with those you love.
Over this year I have witnessed so much growth in my kids. Vocabulary, expanded world-view, interests, creativity, curiosity and a vibrancy that I got to sit in. If they were the warmth or if I was, we all have started to sprout some inspiration. And, we plan to continue on this path a little while longer. I am sure that I won't always be able to offer what they need, but as long as I can (and they want it) I will share my light with them.
While there are things that I will be grateful to do again, this pandemic has been a gift of sorts. Stripping away the unnecessary and helping me to be more of who I always wanted to be. Sure, it has made accomplishing my to-do list a little lengthier. I haven't been able to see more clients or family and friends like I did. But just like I tell my clients, much of that can wait. My floors aren't clean. The counter is full of art projects. But the important things are present. Presence is a gift.
Maybe re-framing it all made the difference. Maybe being shaped by a workaholic helped me to actualize this year. While it is possible that fear and persistence fueled some of this. I am hopeful that what my kids remember of this year is how much we laughed, and loved, together. Together.
“The children have been a wonderful gift to me, and I’m thankful to have once again seen our world through their eyes.”
— Jackie Kennedy
