I do it with my eyes closed.

            I haven't been particularly awesome at feeling. Feeling emotions, feeling love for myself, my body, my being. I was reading a few weeks ago, and in this moment of mid-paragraph, these thoughts started to flood my mind, so I picked up my journal and scribbled it all down:: "We continue to seek connection with that we assume is outside of ourselves-Source, Spirit, God, The Universe. We search outside for the connection but we will never know the closeness of which we search if we first do not know ourselves... ...That which we search for, resides deep within us. There is no "out there". We are that which we seek. You cannot know Source until you seek out who you are. We are connected. We are source and Source is us. When we deeply know and love ourselves, can we only begin to know and love God."   So I started to close my eyes. I closed my eyes to take a breath. I close my eyes to begin to feel my body. My heart. I started doing yoga in the dark with my eyes closed. Moving from movement to movement, finding the balance, finding the grounding in it all. But what I was searching for was the feeling. The connection to my body. What did my legs feel, my arms, my back, my head and neck. Feeling the sensation of my entire being at one time feeling this stretch, this pull, this oh-so-close release of being ONE. Paying attention. Becoming aware. So now I do it with my eyes closed. I close my eyes to feel those parts of me that I haven't felt in so long. I haven't given the attention and time it needs. I close my eyes so I can connect to the higher part of me. That voice that whispers "yes...yes I love that. I love that". It's that voice that guides  you to places and people and events and experiences that open your heart and your being to a more expansive life. A life that you could wrap your arms and squeeze the shit out of. A heart that is so filled with gratitude that you want to pull the car over and Facebook it to the world. I close my eyes so I can feel again. Feel pain, feel love, feel rage and feel fear. Let me feel it. Please. Let me feel it so I can feel me. Me as a woman who is growing and evolving and changing at warp speed it seems like. Changing so much that I am  naked on the street. Open.   Here I am. With my eyes closed. With my arms open and ready to receive. Ready to receive the most abundant love and miracles. When I feel, I am connected. To the part of me that feels damn good. YES. Damn good. I close my eyes, and I open them back up to reveal beautiful things in front of me. To see through a different lens. My life is magical. I make it that way. It's also pretty damn funny. Because when I open my eyes and see the beauty of it all...I see the support of all of you around me.

And them. I see them too.